Funk Stop: Plane’s and transfers

I flew from Albany to JFK on this tiny ass plane, took the window seat even though my ticket was for the aisle. The guy who sat next to me had a cell phone attached to his ear, and he probably thought about telling me to switch, but he waited to long. And once you wait to long, the window of opportunity is closed and you risk looking like an asshole, so I think he sat in agony wishing he said something sooner.

I got to JFK and watched the news for my 4 hour layover, well I fell asleep for three and a half of that. Michael Phelps was on the news for his Bong Hit picture, which was totally blown out of the water, in reality if they want to take away his medals go ahead, he’s still the fastest mother fucker in the water. Taking him out of the competition would only make it so the rest of the swimmers are never testing themselves. I bought a head rest. It came in handy. On this flight I tried doing the same thing, cause they had me in the section in the aisle, tried to hop over right quick but a lady shnagged it. Ended up with the three seats to myself but the armrest didn’t go all the way into the seat so it was awkward. Drank some of the French wine, watched Nick and Nora’s infinite Playlist and fell asleep for 5 of the 6 hours.

I arrived in France. To generalize, they’re assholes which make my American dollar look like a joke. For ten dollars I got a water and an apple. Then the machine for the internet was being a bitch but I figured it out, only to buy an hour worth of time and find out that the keyboards were very different and it took me forever to type anything. I brought an icepack for the meds I had to take, but SOMEONE had already popped that shit before I left the states so it didn’t stay cold. I left my passport in the bathroom; a nice Asian woman returned it to me. It didn’t faze me that that could have fucked my trip. Nice people still exist. I was relaxed the whole trip and ready to get a move on.

Hopped on the plane to Joburgh, a 7 hour flight. Tried doing the same jump around, but this time the plane was packed, so every time I sat somewhere I’d have to pretend I fucked up my ticket seat and move. I ended up sitting next to an elderly French couple who I think was talking about me. Drank my bottle of wine, bit the ambien in half and hoped it wouldn’t shoot across the room. It didn’t. I decided to take the whole thing anyways. Fell asleep sitting up for the whole ride. Woke up and missed both the meals served, got some more wine though.

Arrived in Joburgh, guy had my name ready to take me to the place I was staying for the night. There was a man from Philly and a couple from Poland. The air smelt salty, and the stars were amazing. Got to the place, it was SICK. Pool with a nifty gazebo, all the doors were hand carved, it was very African-esque. I showered, slipped on the tile and hit my head, but I was so happy to be there I laughed. Hit up the bar, talked to the bartender and two old men discussing politics. They gave me the down low on various South African shit. We drank for like three hours. Bartender let me hit the weed, he was a juvenile though, kept talking about how he would get SOOO high. I went to bed, got up and brought my SHIT load of stuff to the front desk, the guy for the airport already left, they had me down as in a different room and came and knocked. It didn’t matter, there was another car. Got through the airport with a breeze, got through all the airports easily, no problems whatsoever. I never got nervous, just hoped if any of the planes went down I ended up on Lost. I bought myself a converter for my electronics for like 7 dollars, pretty cheap for an airport. When I opened my mouth to ask how much it was the guy behind the counter was like “OBAMA!!!” so that was cool. He said my card was declined. I panicked. It was a lie. I met Liz from TN, we were on the same flight. I sat next to a nice man and his son, watched the landscape the whole time.

Got to the Port Elizabeth airport. I never got a confirmation for when I was getting picked up, and the stupid ass lady from the international office told me, “Well lets hope no news is good news!” I’ll be writing Geneseo a letter when I return. They had my name though. Me Liz and a guy from Poland I believe were in the car, we had to wait for another girl to arrive, she was from Madagascar. We played trouble while we waited in the HOT HOT SUN, sitting in the car! I was the first dropped off at my residence, the ppl from my house came and helped me with my shit, they were REALLY and very helpful. I fell asleep again, for like five hours.